Joan Pechauer, LMFT
Do you have trouble communicating with your ex-spouse about co-parenting issues? When you see that you’ve received an email from them, do you get that anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach that feels like you just drank a glass of motor oil? Well never fear, Ex-Spouse Communications is here! Founder Joan Pechauer says, “Send us your ex’s nasty email and we’ll write an effective response for you. ” That’s right: they will draft you a response letter that will express your concerns without starting a fight. This is the solution you’ve been waiting for. Watch my interview with Joan here:
Imagine this situation: your ex sends you an email saying they want to change this week’s parenting time schedule. Again. And as always, they couldn’t be more demanding about it or more inconsiderate of your scheduled plans with the kids. What you might find yourself doing in this situation is writing a strongly worded email back, telling them how rude they are to wait until the last minute to make this request, backing up your arguments with examples from when they have done this sort of thing in the past, maybe taking a shot at that new person they are dating who thinks they can contradict your rules for your kids, and totally putting them in their …STOP! That approach is not going to get you anywhere, and you know it. Your ex-spouse will never be persuaded that they’re wrong, no matter how good you think your points are. All that’s going to do is get you into another exhausting fight. So instead, just take a breath, and let Ex-Spouse Communications help.
You know what? If it helps you vent, go ahead and write your angry letter and send it along with your ex-spouse’s email to Ex-Spouse Communications. They will translate your belligerent rebuttal into an emotionally neutral response that is much more likely to actually get your ex-spouse to consider your legitimate concerns — and that’s really the goal, right? And if you need more than just an email, Ex-Spouse Communications also offers phone consultations and coaching.
To learn more about Ex Spouse Communications or if you are just looking for some free tips on what to do and what not to do when talking to your spouse, or free samples of effective letters, check out exspousecommunications.com
Filed under Video, Websites
So, you are an unmarried father and you want to know about your legal rights with regards to your child? Well here’s a couple of questions: have you filled out an ROP or is there Presumption of Paternity or are you filing a petition for a Paternity Order? Are you planning on going pro se? Oh and one more thing: does the mother have an OFP, because if so it’s going to be hard to do PTE.
Confused? You’re not alone. The legal process surrounding paternity, custody, parenting time, and child support are complicated, especially for unmarried fathers. That’s why Central Minnesota Legal Services has put together this totally free guidebook (from mnfathers.org) for unmarried fathers in Minnesota who want to know more about their rights and their options.
Now, a guidebook is no substitute for legal advice from an attorney — if it were, I’d be out of a job. But it is helpful to understand the basics before you walk into an attorney’s office. This guide has a ton of helpful features like a quick reference dictionary of the legal terms you are likely to hear, an explanation of your rights as a father and how you would go about establishing those rights, and info about self-help centers and legal clinics that can help you navigate this at times confusing process.
Have a hard time paying child support? Worried about the mother trying to move the child out of state? Want to be legally recognized as the father? Interested in obtaining custody or parenting time? This may surprise you, but doing nothing won’t help your situation. Instead, check out the Unmarried Father’s Guide to Paternity, Custody, Parenting Time, and Child Support in Minnesota. You’ll be glad you did.
“Any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.” That truism is from a speech by Barack Obama on Father’s Day 2008. Fatherhood means taking responsibility for the development of another human being, and that takes guts. This is especially true for people who hadn’t planned on being a dad, or who are separated from their spouse, or who — like the President — didn’t know their own father. But luckily there is a growing network of dads and people who love them who are trying to make fatherhood a little less scary: the Minnesota Fathers & Families Network (MFFN), which encourages healthy father-child relationships by giving “men-with-children” the resources to become fathers.
Kids don’t come with an instruction manual …until now. MFFN has a whole list of free guidebooks with tips on how to be a dad. Like “The Daddy Book.” For each month of your baby’s first year in the world, this helpful guide offers: parenting advice, developmental milestones you should expect, and safety tips –plus fun stuff like games you can play with your baby and toys you can make from things you’ve got laying around the house. And The Daddy Book is just one of the many parenting resources offered on their website.
But in this rough economy, dads who are struggling to pay the bills are going to need more than a guidebook. That’s why MFFN is connecting fathers across the state to a whole host of services that help dads support their families: employment assistance, childcare, housing and more.
This Father’s Day, Obama called being a dad “my hardest, but always my most rewarding job” — and that’s coming from a guy who’s other job is no walk in the park. The struggle against terrorism is easy compared to the struggle to get a young child to sleep peacefully through the night. Arguing with John Boehner is nothing after you’ve tried arguing with a teenager. But at the same time, raising a child is the most gratifying endeavor you can ever engage in– that is, if you’ve got the courage to be a father.
For more information check out mnfathers.org.
More households are non-married households than married in the twin cities metro according to the census, says the StarTribune. This, on the heals of the Minnesota legislature pushing through a party-vote to put a constitutional amendment defining marriage before the citizens for a popular vote next fall during the 2012 election. Do we have marriage anxiety? Are these two things connected? Does the Republican legislature want to define marriage in the constitution in order to preserve “Christian” marriage. Is a constitutional amendment going to shore up people’s views/attitudes toward marrying in the first place and (possibly) getting divorced? Here’s a quote from the StarTribune article titled “Census, Saying No to Marriage“:
In a switch that highlights enormous changes in the American family, married couples no longer make up the majority of households in the Twin Cities area.
A new release of 2010 state data by the U.S. Census Bureau on Thursday shows that 48.6 percent of households in the seven-county metropolitan area were married couples. That’s down from 50.9 percent in 2000. The rest of Minnesota is not far behind, with 50.8 percent of households made up of married couples.
There is a new study out jointly from Time and Pew Research about peoples’ views about marriage. No surprise, more people are living together outside of marriage and having children outside of marriage. I was surprised that higher income, more educated people are more likely to marry and marry earlier. You’ve got to check out this study if you are interested in marriage trends and peoples’ views about marriage. Also, here’s a good summary article in Time about the research results.
One interesting thing that I’m finding in my law and mediation practice is that heterosexuals care less about marriage while homosexuals are more interested in marriage. It will be interesting to see more data as the years go by as to whether heterosexuals start to realize (rather than taking for granted, as I believe they mostly do now) all the legal rights and protections that marriage provides and which homosexuals seem to understand and value.
Here’s the January, 2011 update!
It’s easy to wonder whether unmarried fathers have any legal rights, but a Central Minnesota Legal Services publication available on the website of the Minnesota Fathers and Families Network is a helpful and user-friendly guide, called the “Unmarried Father’s Guide to Paternity, Custody, Parenting Time and Child Support in Minnesota”.
As the name of the publication suggests, topics covered include: Paternity, Custody, Parenting Time and Child Support. But the publication also addresses the Father’s Adoption Registry, Moving Out of State, Naming the Child and How a Recognition of Parentage (ROP) Differs from a Paternity Order from a Court, and other helpful topics.
Author of this post: Carl Arnold
SEE NEWER, JULY 18, 2011, POST HERE (INCLUDES VIDEO INTERVIEW WITH DAISY CAMP FOUNDER JENNIFER MORRIS
Daisy Camp is a weekend educational retreat (for women only, as I understand it) facing divorce in Minnesota. See their website at www.daisycamp.org. Their next retreat is scheduled for March 27-29, 2009. Here is a quote from the overview section of their website:
Daisy Camp will give you the “nuts and bolts” that will take the guess work and mystery out of your divorce. You will become empowered. When you leave, you’ll have a plan of action, ample resources, new friends, and a future full of possibilities!
Registration forms are available on their website at www.daisycamp.org or you can contact them directly at email@example.com or 952-405-2060.
Author of this post: Carl Arnold
South Central Human Relations Center in Owatonna, Minnesota is offering two sets of divorce education classes in 2009. The dates of the classes are: First set of 5 classes – Tuesdays from January 6, 2009 to April 7, 2009; Second set of 5 classes – Tuesdays from April 7, 2009 to May 5, 2009.
Attached is a course brochure and application, which includes information about the purpose of the courses, who should attend, the course content, and who to contact if you have additional questions.
Author of this post: Carl Arnold