Tag Archives: Counseling & Mental Health

LMFT Laura Barbeau’s Perspective on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples and the book Hold Me Tight

I was really impressed, when I read the book Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson.  This is not your ordinary couples self-help book but is instead a research-based handbook for couples looking to work on their relationship and looking to learn how to make a better connection and avoid old patterns of relationship conflict.  I was curious to learn more, because it seemed like a really helpful and important book.

The video below is a Skype conversation that I had with Laura Barbeau, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT).  She uses Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in her therapy practice and she also teaches a course on EFT based on the book Hold Me Tight.

The class consists of around 8 sessions, 2 hours long each, that discuss the chapters of the book in a group setting. Here, couples converse about issues with the whole class, leaving less time to focus on insignificant details and more time to solve the root of problems that apply to so many couples. Laura believes conflict is present in any relationship and finding a healthy way to approach problems is a skill that will inevitably be useful to any couple.

To learn more about Laura Barbeau’s Hold Me Tight class, go to Laura’s website by clicking here.

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Ex Spouse Communications – Video Interview with Founder Joan Pechauer

Joan Pechauer, LMFT

Do you have trouble communicating with your ex-spouse about co-parenting issues? When you see that you’ve received an email from them, do you get that anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach that feels like you just drank a glass of motor oil? Well never fear, Ex-Spouse Communications is here! Founder Joan Pechauer says, “Send us your ex’s nasty email and we’ll write an effective response for you. ” That’s right: they will draft you a response letter that will express your concerns without starting a fight. This is the solution you’ve been waiting for. Watch my interview with Joan here:

Imagine this situation: your ex sends you an email saying they want to change this week’s parenting time schedule. Again. And as always, they couldn’t be more demanding about it or more inconsiderate of your scheduled plans with the kids. What you might find yourself doing in this situation is writing a strongly worded email back, telling them how rude they are to wait until the last minute to make this request, backing up your arguments with examples from when they have done this sort of thing in the past, maybe taking a shot at that new person they are dating who thinks they can contradict your rules for your kids, and totally putting them in their …STOP! That approach is not going to get you anywhere, and you know it. Your ex-spouse will never be persuaded that they’re wrong, no matter how good you think your points are. All that’s going to do is get you into another exhausting fight. So instead, just take a breath, and let Ex-Spouse Communications help.

You know what? If it helps you vent, go ahead and write your angry letter and send it along with your ex-spouse’s email to Ex-Spouse Communications. They will translate your belligerent rebuttal into an emotionally neutral response that is much more likely to actually get your ex-spouse to consider your legitimate concerns — and that’s really the goal, right? And if you need more than just an email, Ex-Spouse Communications also offers phone consultations and coaching.

To learn more about Ex Spouse Communications or if you are just looking for some free tips on what to do and what not to do when talking to your spouse, or free samples of effective letters, check out exspousecommunications.com

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Marriage and Family Therapy is Helpful During Divorce

Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) can be an important component of caring for your overall health. If you or your family are experiencing issues related to mental or emotional health, the statistics show that Marriage and Family Therapy might be an effective (and wallet friendly) treatment option. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists diagnose and treat a wide array of disorders including autism, eating disorders, dementia, abuse, divorce adjustment, and grief “within the context of marriage, couple, or family relationships.” Studies show that, among high users of medical care, those who also visited MFTs showed significant reductions in visits for various health reasons and therefore reducing health care costs. See the FAQ section of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists for more information.

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You won’t believe all the helpful information for families in conflict at www.yoursocialworker.com

http://www.yoursocialworker.com is a well-developed website created by Candian Social Worker Gary Direnfeld. He has plenty of helpful posts and even videos related to divorce and separation and parenting at www.yoursocialworker.com.

Here are just a few of the topics he addresses:
Marital Therapy Explained
Affairs Are About Anything But Love
Check the Pulse Before Pulling the Plug [on your marriage]
Married Boomers Face Their Own Perfect Storm
First comes love, then comes marriage…
Thinking of an affair? Then think again.
Separating from an Abusive Partner
Right of First Refusal
Introducing New Partner [to your children] Too Fast, Too Soon
Moving After a Separation [and your children]
Children’s Mental Health and Intervention in View of Domestic Violence, Parental Alcoholism and Parental Separation
Parenting Plan Considerations
Divorcing? Preserve Your Assets and Relationships with Cooler Heads
Family Professional Support Through the Separation/Divorce Process
Considering a Parenting Coordinator?
Forget Harmony, Settle for Peace [in high conflict families]
From Position To Interest [on parenting plans] While Managing Adjustment
Reconciliation Counselling
Parenting Plans From a Kid’s Eye View
Keeping A Child Away From The Other Parent Can Backfire
Need Help Sorting Out A Parenting Plan?
Parenting Plan Worksheet
Celebrity Divorce
Infidelity
Lower divorce rates and Marital Therapy
Co-Parenting
Parent Alienation Syndrome
Mediation [parenting plans]

Author of this post: Carl Arnold, Attorney/Mediator

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Never Heard of a Divorce Coach?

Never heard of a divorce coach? Well, you should read this!

Because divorce is more than just a legal process, it’s important to consider whether a divorce coach would help you and your family through this difficult transition. Attached is a helpful document titled “Understanding Divorce Coaching” from the Collaborative Law Institute of Minnesota. It covers topics such as “What is a Divorce Coach?”, “Why Use a Coach?”, “What Can a Coach Do For Me?”, “The Role of a Neutral Coach” and “The Role of an Allied Coach – A Two Coach Model”.

A good way to find a divorce coach in Minnesota is to click on the Collaborative Law Institute of Minnesota link above and then click on “Find a Collaborative Professional”. From there you can use the drop-down menu titled “Find a Professional by Profession” to limit your search to “Psychologial Professional”, which is where the Divorce Coaches are listed. You don’t have to be part of a Collaborative Practice Divorce to use a Divorce Coach, but this is a great resource for those looking for a Divorce Coach whether or not their divorce is going Collaboratively.

Author of this Post: Carl Arnold, Attorney/Mediator

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10 Tips to Thrive during Any Life Transition

• Do you know someone who has divorced or is in the process of divorce?
• Do you know someone who has remarried and blended two families into one?
• Or, maybe you know someone who has expressed fear, uncertainty and feelings of being overwhelmed about their circumstances?

beckmanIf you do, please send them this notice and ask them to listen in for . . .
10 Tips to Thrive during Any Life Transition

10:30 a.m., Sunday, April 26
FM 107.1 ‘Family Affairs’ Show
Maren Beckman, Life Transitions Coach
Learn more about Maren Beckman at www.inthethriversseat.com

You can also listen online!

Author of this Post: Carl Arnold, Attorney/Mediator

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Center for Human Resources is a Northfield association of professional counselors, see their new website for more information

chrFamilies facing conflict benefit from counseling, either individually or as a group. That’s why counselors and therapists are prominently featured on Always Family Center.

Center for Human Resources, an association of professional counselors in Northfield, recently created a new website that describes their available services. Their address is 220 Division Street, Northfield, Minnesota. Their phone number is 507-645-9304.

Here is the information from the main page of their website. Notice the Marriage Clinic!

Our Philosophy
The Center for Human Resources is an outpatient mental health center which was founded in 1976. We offer a range of therapeutic and educational services to individuals, couples, families, groups, and organizations. Our primary goal is to promote mental health with attention to social, physical and spiritual components.

You may contact us at chr@rconnect.com

Current Offerings
This is a list of Current Offerings and presentations available by Dorothee Ischler.

Marriage Clinic: skills training to improve your marriage
New research findings on depression and its treatment
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
Eating Disorders and it’s treatment
Mind-Body approaches to stress reduction
How to improve your relationships with friends, relatives and coworkers
Therapeutic weight loss groups for women, offered 4 times a year (Spring, Fall and twice during Winter), 6 women per group

For more information e-mail Dorothee Ischler at Dischler57@earthlink.net

Author of this Post: Carl J. Arnold, Attorney/Mediator

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Northfield Licenced Professional Counselor Christine Ubben provides services to individuals and families experiencing conflict and has a helpful website

Northfield therapist Christine Ubben has a helpful website at www.ubbencounseling.com. ubbenThe website has tabs for common questions, hours and billing, services provided, etc. On her website, she states:

As a professional counselor, I recognize the need for clients to find a counselor who will listen with acceptance, understanding, and compassion. I endeavor to provide an environment that is comfortable for clients to share their concerns.

I specialize in counseling couples experiencing communication, infidelity, or intimacy problems, and I often work with clients experiencing stress, anxiety, depression, grief and loss, and life adjustment issues. Additionally, I counsel with individuals experiencing separation, divorce, postdivorce and coparenting transitions. Further, I counsel families experiencing conflict such as parent-child or communication issues, and I counsel children ages 8+ and adolescents.

I believe everyone has their own, unique experience, and I genuinely seek to understand their story. I approach counseling with a strengths-based perspective and a desire to collaboratively explore solutions to life challenges. It is a privilege for me to walk with clients on their life journey.

Author of this post: Carl Arnold, Attorney/Mediator

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